the big big day

thank you

2010-02-09T14:01:00.001-08:00

We finally got our Thank you Cards done so we are totally late by any etiquette standards anywhere. But they are just in time for Valentine's aren't they? Perhaps we can write them on the plane to our vacation. . .

I love my wife

2009-11-11T20:06:00.000-08:00

Yes we are not perfect but the good thing is that we both know that. My better half is sleeping on the couch as I type this right near her. She's absolutely beautiful and after 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days of marriage I am happy to report that I am 100% happy! Okay that was a quick post and I plan to post more very soon...I love my wife ; )

still picking thank you card photos

2009-11-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

My goal had been to try to get out the Thank You cards in October. Big surprise, they're not done yet. Maybe they'll be done in time for Christmas. It's really hard because we didn't take what has come to be known as the classic posed thank you card photo.
Do you think people would be mad to receive something like this:

Faces

2009-10-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

I've learned throughout life that making faces is never a good thing. I learned it again last night in Times Square. We had an amazing night and then she asked a simple request and I answered in the negative. Now only if I had left it at that but I couldn't and I made one of my faces to show that my answer meant more than "no". Let's just say that last night was very cold in the bed. She's a very forgiving person and I'm happy that that is in the past. I think as we grow with each other we will both try harder and I know it's hard to do it but it's worth it because there are a lot more important things in life to worry about. Next time we get the beverage and even if we don't she doesn' t get a face. Satan is strong but God is always stronger!
-I love my wife.

Marriage is AWESOME!!!

2009-09-08T14:47:00.001-07:00

I like marriage (I guess you can tell from the title). Since I married my best friend it's been a good trip. First of all, I still can't believe I am married. Second of all, I can't believe we got married in less than two years. She's been awesome even when I've been less than awesome. I believe she's giving a great deal of effort. She's always been giving her all but now I'm paying more attention to it and attempting to match it because the best way to keep a marriage going well is to do your part and appreciate the other person for doing their share and then some. Waking up to see her each day is a blessing in itself.

Spending time with her in Orlando was very good. We were relaxing and enjoying one another's company and seeing the different sites of the wonderful city. We are in transition phase with our apartment right now that isn't easy to deal with but you know what we are both doing our best to keep a positive attitude.

I hope as the days, weeks, months and years pass by we continue to learn more about each other and from one another.

voila

2009-08-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

we did it!!!
For all the planning, agonizing, dreaming, hoping, saving, it sure went by very quickly. I took lots of photos to try to remember what happened.
Our wedding was beautiful. Of course there were a few hitches but in time, no one will remember them.
Now we are on our honeymoon in Orlando. There's a pool and we are using it.
Other than that, nothing to report. See u when we get back.

Let's get this over with already...but let's have FUN also!

2009-08-14T23:33:00.001-07:00

Approximately eight days until the wedding. I can't wait until it comes and see the few people on my side that really mean something to me come and truly celebrate our happiness together. It will also be nice to see certain people from my fiancee's side that have shown their support and also the ones who came a long way to show her their love. Besides all of that, the wait is unbearable right now as my practice to have better patience certainly has not worked in this case. I want to get there and say "I do" and hopefully hear the love of my life say it also. Afterwards, we can go on vacation for a few days and not have to worry about anything. The best advice I have heard over the last few weeks has to be "have fun and remember it's your day". I will do my best to have fun and remember that I do not plan on doing this ever again. That day will mark the beginning of an awesome journey and it won't always be a honeymoon but that's a challenge that I look forward to; as long as we both know that family comes first...we should be fine...we need to practice that first dance ; )

so close and yet so close!

2009-08-07T17:04:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. The big day is almost here. I'm trying not to stress. One good thing that has come of that is a pretty decent attendance record at the gym. I feel mostly happy and I think the gym contributes in a huge way.

I can't wait for our honeymoon. It's in Orlando. I hope we can do a few fun things. I have a trick or two up my sleeve. Well, maybe not but I CANT WAIT! I like that we're staying in the states because I feel more confident about going to new places and trying different things. And also, it's our honeymoon. I don't really want to do any sightseeing. Well not much anyway. Disney, and maybe a movie. I definitely want to sleep in.

Notice I'm not mentioning the wedding or reception? Well, let's just say I got some good advice about enjoying the day when it comes. I'm holding on to that. Definitely gonna try to do that.

yet another final piece

2009-07-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

It seems like it takes a lot of final pieces to get two people married. Tonight we put in our application for our marriage license. We have 21 days to show up to the city clerk's office and complete the process. I hope we remember to bring a camera on that day.

Final piece of the puzzle

2009-06-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

We have finally got all the people needed to make the wedding..well a wedding and a reception. The DJ/MC are finally in place. We are very content with the two people we have chosen to fill those positions. They are a very nice couple and they seem to be very professional and understand the type of reception that we are looking for (they also gave us a nice deal). As we get closer and closer to the big big day I get more excited about the whole event. Can't wait for the cake!

plain and simple

2009-06-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

As time wears on, I'm realizing our wedding reception is going to have to be plain and simple. There's a song that the Shakers used to sing: 'tis a gift to be simple 'tis the gift to be free. . .

While we were watching Cadillac Records there was a scene where Howlin' Wolf is meeting Muddy Waters for the first time. Howlin' Wolf is played by Eamonn Walker I believe his name is and the character is written as a self-determined black man--before Kwanzaa came about. When Muddy Waters makes a disparaging comment about Howlin' Wolf's beat up old truck compared to Muddy Waters' spankin' caddilac, Howlin wolf says, "I own that truck, it doesn't own me".

I guess we could say the same for decorations and other things.
I just realized that because we need vendors to be insured, we can't just have a friend come in and put on our chair covers. I found decently priced chair covers but apparently that's not going to work. I'm a smidge disappointed. I thought it would have looked decent. And then I could have sold the chair covers on EBAY. Yeesh. Oh well. Maybe I can go with the company that I saw over on Gun Hill Road. I'm thinking they probably have insurance. We shall see.

do we HAVE to have a wedding party?

2009-06-03T06:59:00.001-07:00

I haven't posted in here in a while and that is partly because I've been busy. Partly because I've been overwhelmed.

We've been working on a few things namely dance lessons and premarital counseling.
Lately, the need to get my bridal party together has been stressing me. I have 1 sister who is able to participate. However, the maid of honor let me know she doubted she'd be able to do it due to health concerns.

I asked someone else to be my matron of honor but she flat out refused. She mentioned all the work she'd have to be doing. She's recently had surgery (2 months ago) and felt she wouldn't be up to it. Even though I explained to her that I simply needed her to march down the aisle during the rehearsal the night before, and on the day of the wedding, she insisted that there would be additional duties which she could not handle, such as attending, planning a party. This is the same person who pushed herself to go back to work and has been back at her job for perhaps 3 weeks now.

I'm not having a party. I don't want/need one. The most I would want is to have brunch with a few people. Those people are dwindling fast.

My other sister will not be able to make it to the wedding at all because she will be starting school in another state the previous week. So I need a replacement for her. I have a cousin who might like to do it. But her Mom does not get along with the family.

Now add to that, the other bridesmaid is a little skittish. I don't know if she's shy, withdrawn, or just doesn't like me all that much. Texts and emails go unanswered. Facebook, regular email, whatever. Maybe I need to just plain call her? I'm shy too. Maybe I'll call her today because apparently this evening is the only time she can make it to go to a bridal salon to try on bridesmaids dresses. When did I find this out? Yesterday. Sigh.

When my Mom got married, she had 2 bridesmaids. Her sister and her sister's best friend. The sister passed away in '96. The "best friend" (there's a story there) doesn't speak to any of us anymore but had custody of the sister's adopted daughter until she turned 18 I guess (for about 2 years). The groom is long gone, since '89. And the pictures are all that remain.

Do we really need a wedding party?

breathless

2009-05-12T07:52:00.001-07:00

We are trying to get our invitations out, trying to get them addressed and mailed. Everything is "falling into place" but trying to get them to do that without letting them fall apart is challenging.

Yesterday we met the dance teacher at a local community center. She seems actually to be pretty good. Cheerful, enthusiastic, energetic. I liked her. We decided to go with her even though there was an okay offer from a lady in Manhattan. Yeah, this is a little more accessible.

My dress arrived last Friday. Now all I need are my foundation garments and my shoes in order go go try it on. I actually need 2 pairs of shoes. The outdoors is not good for heels. But I'll need heels for the reception I think--so that the dress won't drag? Maybe a wedge heel? That's a good compromise between flat and heeled.

I've spoken to 2 out of 3 potential day-of coordinators. I am looking to pay between 600 and 800. One lady will try to work with me. The other lady, I don't know her price. So I'll have to call her. Maybe even this evening.

I need to reserve rooms at a local-ish hotel. That would be good to do. There's a place right off the highway that might be good. But I don't think there are that many people who will want a place to stay. Wait, update, I just called. They only reserve in blocks of 10 at a minimum. You would have to think you have people needing at least ten rooms! In this economy I think there will only be need for 5 rooms probably.

Wow. There's enough to do.

Why have a wedding?

2009-05-06T17:02:00.000-07:00

Weddings are expensive, stressful and definitely leads to arguments over who gets to have their idea become reality. Then why have one? I have struggled with this idea for a while now. Not until recently did I have some understanding of why it's important to have one. The other night after a huge argument about money I got some clarity on why the wedding is needed. We are having a wedding to profess our love for another to everyone that we care about. Another reason is to show those same people that we care about them and appreciate them being there for us and therefore we are going to treat them as best as possible. Another reason is to collect the presents that should be fun. I hope they don't get us a toaster...how about a wide screen tv? That made me smile. Well I am home after basketball and I'm sure missing my significant other.

color scheme and ideas

2009-04-30T07:33:00.001-07:00

I have always seen these types of collages on other websites. But I didn't quite know how they were done. Then I stumbled across someone's blog and the collage stated it was made on bridal canvas dot com. I decided to try it and like it. It was pretty straightforward, allowed me to upload my own pictures, and had a decent variety of stock, real wedding photos I could use.
This is what I visualize.

:(

2009-04-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

does wedding planning have to be this depressing? Why does the industry overwhelm us with their stuff, their requirements, all their assumptions?

When you look at DJ websites, they have a list of things you are supposed to do:

couples first dance
father daughter dance
mother son dance
garter belt toss
bouquet toss (a big opportunity to try and irritate all unmarried women in the room under a certain age)

suppose someone's mother couldn't be there for whatever reason? Suppose someone doesn't get along with their father? Anyone whose situation is different is made to feel like a flat out weirdo. You had a wedding, except. . . [insert exception to the rule]. Suppose you want to carry a copy of your favorite poetry book with a single flower attached, instead of a bouquet--could you toss that?

As for bridesmaids--you must have them. How could you not? And you have to have between 6 and 10 of them and they must all dress the same. Or else you won't really be married.

I'm tired. Grumpy. I'm not really feeling this. I'm really feeling an elopement right now.

Bad Influences

2009-04-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

It is easy for people to begin thinking the wrong things about the people they care most about even if they aren't trying to do that. Well let me be clear. Some men can be pigs. Some men want to be in charge of their lady all of the time so that they can boost their own egos. They like to talk big around other men. I thought that I wasn't buying into all of that crap but it must have gotten into my system through osmosis because at times I know that I began to be a jerk to my fiancee with the I must be in charge bit. I did not even know that it was happening but slowly it began to happen and it occurred with more frequency over time. I have since stopped hanging around with that person and I am proud to say that my system is being purged of the "bacon" thoughts. Well I am learning to appreciate what God has given me and going back to my original thought that when two people are in a relationship those two people should treat one another as equals. I can't wait to get married. I can't wait to start dancing with her too : )

An idea

2009-04-15T14:04:00.001-07:00

I thought we could do this for our tables--instead of numbers--each fruit of the spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Another option is to put up pics of ourselves over the years

Yet another option is just to use numbers--hey, if it ain't broke. . .

Scream

2009-04-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

Remember the song by Michael Jackson? I don't remember if it was a duet with sister Janet but it went something like "I just can't take it no more, stop pressuring me, you make me want to scream"!

People need to chill with the pressure! Every now and again I'll run into someone who will want to know about invites. Did you send out invitations? How many people are you having? blah blah blah. Why are they stressing me like that? It's totally not necessary.

The rule of thumb is to send out the invitations six to eight weeks before you need a headcount. Eight weeks is 2 months. If we need a headcount August1, (which we don't), then that would be the invites should go out maybe the last day of May. It's still April. It's not even tax day yet. What is with people?!

The other interesting thing is that some people who are being asked to do a) b) or c) were asking asking asking for info. Now that I've sent it (both a warning email and a letter by the post office)--I can't figure out if they received it or not. Out of 4 people contacted, only 1 said, "hey, I got it". Another I just broke down and called because I just couldn't quite get over it.

And now on to another topic: rudeness.

Stop me if I've blogged this before.
I have shared a photo of my dress on my blog. It's no big deal to me. However, for lots of people, it's supposed to be a mystery until the day of. . .
I emailed a cousin of mine who I felt I could talk to--I shared with her some of my little jitters, and also included a pic of my dress--this was a while back. Rather than reply, she hit forward and sent it to both her sisters. Up to now she has not responded to my email but both her sisters contact me about it on facebook offering their advice and comments.

It was months ago, but I'm still mad. Yeeesh.

Always there

2009-04-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by saying, yes I'm speaking in absolutes. I believe that God has blessed me with a very special lady to be my future wife. At the end of the last work week, I felt that I couldn't tell her everything or anything for that matter because I did not want to burden her with all what was happening at my work place. I felt bad about talking about my problem because of 1) I'm not the only person who is going through a period of uncertainty on the job and 2) she might not want to hear this especially heading towards the weekend. You know what she listened to me and gave me the right advice without being overly aggressive with her views and positions. I know now more than ever that we have something really special and this is truly the lady for me. Oh yeah we just made another payment for our venue. On the topic of the venue; we really chose the perfect place.

finally--information about the wedding

2009-04-02T12:50:00.001-07:00

Hi Ladies,
please be on the lookout for an actual letter in the mail from me regarding the wedding. I promise I am mailing it off today!!! I know I've been stalling. Some people have been asking about colors for the longest. Sorry. It seemed scary so I put it off.

But I've got a lot of ideas and links and stuff. I know the colors and I know exactly what kind of look and feel we are going for. So I wrote everything up and sent you a color sample (not a swatch but a paint chip) of the general palette I'm working with.

So basically, within the color scheme, I am giving you free reign. I don't want you to buy a dress you will never wear again. So let me know once you receive the letter if it is helpful or if it is too much freedom. If you want me to lock you in to an exact style/color/manufacturer, I can do that. But I really would rather not.

Hope all is well with you. Please let me know if you have any questions at all or need any info or anything. Anything. My number is ###-###-####. My email is obvious.

Take Care,

PS I have made an attachment of sort of what I have in mind. And also a pic of what my dress looks like. I know those models are a little scary-looking. But it's what's out there.

accessorize

2009-03-31T08:52:00.000-07:00

I saw this cute pin on the NY&CO website recently. I think it might be just right for my look.
Check it out.

1 year

2009-03-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

One year ago today we got engaged. Tonight we wound up in a big fight. Are we doing the right thing? Are we really cut out for each other? How much fighting is too much fighting?
As we plan I have a lot of questions. When it's good it's great. But it's so easy for us to have misunderstandings, misgivings, or just flat out fights.

pics aplenty

2009-03-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

We got our images via email from our photographer. They are great. I'm truly pleased with them. I know she took a LOT of pictures. In the end she provided approximately 80. She took a variety of poses and in a variety of locations. I think we are the first client she is serving all on her own but that doesn't bother me. She seems like a no nonsense lady.
Naturally, she's not perfect. No one is perfect. But she's business like and professional and I feel we can count on her to do a good job on our big day.

2009-03-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

I saw these lovely baskets in the current Oprah Magazine (April 09). They are made from bamboo. Lovely colors, eh? Thinking about the natural colored ones for my centerpieces. Hmm...

We did it!

2009-03-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

Yay!
Our engagement photo shoot was yesterday. Our photographer, Tara Sharma, brought along an assistant and we shot our pictures at a local garden, outdoors. She has a great eye. But also, RocketMan and I just look so cute and were well rested --hence our pictures couldn't help but come out really nicely.

Proofs will be on their way soon!
I'm psyched about the wedding now. Not so scared like before. We still haven't seen the albums but I'm looking forward to getting a preview of what we may be able to order.

She did a great job posing us and helping us get comfortable in front of the camera. We just listened to her directions and tried to act natural. There were moments where I genuinely forgot the camera was there. Especially when we were kissing. Hee heee...

In the meantime, the interest rate on our joint savings account is dropping off a cliff!!! It's down to 1.65 from nearly 3.00 when we started saving last year. That's not cool! We could be earning nearly twice the interest. :(

dodged that bullet

2009-02-26T13:55:00.001-08:00

Well, because of inclement weather, the photo shoot was postponed.
Meanwhile, I've been procrastinating on Save the date cards. Will get them out, soon. I promise.

Other than that, I see that we were wise to start saving for this whole wedding shindig. The guest list keeps getting longer. Oy. vey. But we are well on target with savings IMHO. Our wedding will be pricey but nowhere near the industry expectation.

Meanwhile I just have a few small concerns. Will the officiant we chose really be able to attend? The day of our wedding just happens to be communion at his church. He is the senior pastor and somehow I think the service at his church will miss something if he is not there. I hate to put him in the position of having to back out on us or make communion less than it ought to be. So I'm mildly concerned.

I'm also concerned about bridesmaids. I want to help them as much as possible to find dresses that suit them and are affordable. However, I feel the colors I've chosen aren't that popular--even though they are not wild (two shades of blue with purple accents). What to do? Well, stop procrastinating for one.

Final concern--a place to live. We don't have that much time. To plan the wedding it is enough time. But to find an apartment, we might need to start looking next month. I think that would be reasonable. Here's the other challenge. Where exactly do we want to live anyway?

uh oh

2009-02-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we are planning to meet our photographer to do our engagement photos. Not sure if we really need engagement photos considering we won't be using them for save the dates or the guest book. But it might be good for us to do it for the website.

It just dawned on me I have to try to look good. Hence I better make an appointment at the salon. I'll get my nails and hair done and my eyebrows shaped. I could leave it up to me but I'm not so sure that's a good idea. There's a place around here that does facials and things. Maybe I should hit up that joint. As for my outfit--oy vey. Nothing fits because I've gained about 20 pounds over the last year (mainly the last six months). So I have to check my closet. Maybe I'll wear the new pantsuit I got in a wicked sale at loehmanns.

Flower Arranging Ideas

2009-02-03T12:17:00.000-08:00

Flower Arranging Ideas

I found this really cool website by just searching around for floral arranging ideas.
Flowers are not that expensive to buy and a lot of websites have free shipping.
Buying floral foam shouldn't be too bad either. No, you can't reuse it but I can definitely afford to spend a little money buying some to keep my skills up.

Expectations

2009-01-07T16:46:00.001-08:00

Seven more months and I expect to be married to the beautiful lady who shares the blog with me.
Six more months and I expect to feel even more nervous about the big big day.
Five more months and we should be done paying the majority of the vendors.
Four more months we should feel pretty good about the wedding.
Three more months we will breathe a sigh of relief that we have everything in place for the wedding.
Two more months we will do our check list.
One more month we will go on a couple of romantic dates and think how great it will be to be married.
This month we will look to alleviate ourselves of most of the stress.

solutions

2009-01-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

I've been dragging my feet getting ready for this wedding. I guess I've been worrying more than I've been doing anything. So finally a coworker of mine announced that she was engaged and started showing me her dress choices and already has a maid of honor! That led to an instant "uh oh" moment for me.

So yesterday evening I called my good friend Willowtree and asked her to be my maid of honor. She doesn't have to stand up in the wedding if she doesn't feel it's right for her health at the time (she has a few health concerns). And she doesn't have to throw me a big party. But I'm grateful she's agreed!!!

In addition, I've found a website where I can order a kit to make lip balm for my guests!!! It's pretty cheap if I make it myself and it seems easy.
Here's the link!
I'll simply place a few of each on each table in a little container. They can take it as they go.

Another option is lotion. There's a company out there that sells containers. I can easily buy containers elsewhere, create labels. Etc. However, I think I'd rather buy the kit. In case I want to go complicated, here's the website of the container company.

On another note, I've narrowed down my choices for bridesmaid colors. I'm going with either aqua and purple or pink and purple. I really like purple.

Also, we've worked on our wedding website in the past. Here's what we have so far:
link

cakes cakes cakes

2008-12-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

We've been researching cakes and cakeboxes. Here's what we found.

Websites for cake boxes

and some cakes we actually liked the looks of

Industry guidelines claim we can expect to spend between $8 and $15 per slice. Is that really realistic? If I go into a store and buy an exquisite slice of cake, am I expecting to pay that much? If you order an okay dessert at an okay restuarant, for $8 it better be a pretty damn big slice of cake.

off to the gym

2008-12-22T13:37:00.000-08:00

RocketMan and I are heading to the gym this evening. We've both been swearing to go there the past few MONTHS! and we still haven't made it yet.
There's no way I can fit into my dress if I don't start hitting the treadmill.
I also need a way to relieve stress.

So this morning I was up early and packed my gym bag. We are going to sweat it out. Because I've been stress-eating these past several weeks, I've been putting on weight. However, I read somewhere that women with different shapes should approach toning up differently. I have an apple shape--a tendency to gain weight around the midsection. In fact, as long as I can remember, I have had this shape and so do half the women on my mother's side of the family.

The recommended regimen for someone with my shape is to cut back on simple carbs, opting for complex carbs instead. Also, I need to take in a moderate amount of protein (that would actually mean an increase for me), and focus on cardiovascular exercises. The bright side is that belly fat melts away faster than fat that clings to the hips and thighs so I'll keep the junk in the trunk and slim down that waist!

DIY madness

2008-12-15T09:23:00.001-08:00

I'm still searching for a way to incorporate tradition, so to speak, into our wedding. I think that having plaid silk sashes on the bridesmaids would be a nice touch. Either for their sashes or wrapped around their bouquets. It's a tough one.
I found a website where there were instructions on how to sew the sash yourself. My Mom has a sewing machine and it can't be that hard. The only trouble is the cost of the fabric.

http://www.budget-wedding.net/weddings/do-it-yourself-wedding-dress-sash-belt-and-scarf/

Another thing I've been searching for is plaid silk fabric. It's not cheap. It's pricey. But it's gorgeous. I think. On item I found here costs $10 for a sample!!! Maybe the bridesmaids will just have kerchiefs to wrap their bouquets.
There's a nice purple one here for $30/yard.

wait one cotton picking minute!
it's there on EBAY for a much more manageable price.

OMG
someone posted a trimming company on Kvetch
here's a link

and then I got lazy

2008-12-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

I've received some books which I ordered both purchased and borrowed. I wanted to learn more about wedding papercrafts.
Well, one book was from the early nineties which I borrowed from the library. Some of the looks were frightening.
Two other books were purchased second hand online. They were published more recently. They had some good ideas but mostly it seemed like a lot of work for invitations--especially since there were going to be so many and in the end, people would likely not know where they wound up.
Perhaps buying invitations pre-printed, or buying invitation kits might not be a bad deal.
I looked at some designs on the big warehouse website (you know--the wedding dress people) and came across some that weren't all that expensive. Maybe 120 for 100 invitations and envelopes printed thermographically. Response cards are separate but those don't even have to be exactly by that company.

arts and crafts anyone?

2008-12-05T06:56:00.000-08:00

I've been coming across a lot of ideas. I can't keep up.
Right now I'm thinking about invitations, invitations, invitations
I even bought 2 books from half dot com for creating your own paperie for a wedding
I wouldn't go so far as to make the paper myself but I'm finding one can get a little creative
and still do a lot of fancy things
such as
1. use card stock backing and a printed heavy paper--photo copy, trim, and assemble
2. alter blank note cards with your announcement on the inside--add stamping, ribbons, sealing wax, whatever
3. buy parts from a diy invitation company--it's not really diy since they are selecting the range and trimming the paper--but you have to print and assemble

I saw some good advice on the back of one book I borrowed from the library. It said, spend your time dreaming, not shopping. Don't spend a lot of money on things that aren't quite perfect.
I thought that was good advice. I don't want to wind up with a lot of supplies that aren't exactly what I'm going to need.
Images ripped out of a magazine actually.

Mountains and Valleys

2008-12-02T21:49:00.000-08:00

The past five days have really taught me a whole lot about this relationship. There is no question that this is the lady that I want to marry. I would marry her tomorrow if she would allow it. It seems that things that I have learned about this relationship continue to be forgotten by yours truly. I have forgotten such things such as no matter what if it is day five thousand of the relationship; it should be the treated as the first time that I met her where I did my best to impress her and let her know that I'm there for her and would always like to be there for her (okay maybe that was the fourth date). I learned that this relationship will have its mountains where everything is going great and we are both clicking at every single point but there will always be the valleys that are not so easy to deal with but that's when you dig deep and realize that we can work it out; that we can climb out of the valley and reach to the zenith again. This past year has been without a doubt the best year for me and I look forward to many more great years with her. Oh yeah one last thing, the wedding is eight months away and everything is finally taking shape and I think that after this we both can counsel another couple on things to do and not to do when preparing for a wedding.

what's next?

2008-11-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

Supposedly we've gotten the hardest part down--the venue. Now everything else is supposed to fall into place. That's what people say. Yeah, right.
what colors should we pick?
who should we invite?
who should be in the wedding party?
how much can we spend on photography?
should we even bother with a videographer?

I wish there was a wheel of weddings I could spin that would tell me the answers to those questions like that little paper game we used to make when we were in grade school. You would make a little box that fit over your fingers and write some numbers and colors on each panel. Then it basically worked like a magic 8 ball. You would ask a question and get an answer.

One thing I know for sure, this is the guy I want to marry. Everything else is extras.

so close and yet so far

2008-11-18T10:14:00.001-08:00

The search for the perfect venue has taken us all over New York City and parts of Westchester too. It's been challenging, educational, tiresome, exciting--all those things. Needless to say we are both exhausted and I don't think I'd be stretching it to say neither of us likes the prospect of having to look at another place. I think we've seen 14 or 15 in all--and that's in person. Not to mention searching the internet and ruling out places we thought were in appropriate.

The wedding industry is big business and there are some industry standards. However, I have learned that you HAVE to get out of your house and look at the venue. You can't just look at their website and talk to them over the phone. Well you can but if you're picky (and we are picky) you'll be sorry in the end. One place that stated it had outdoor facilities available for the ceremony showed us a patio, which would have been fine, except it was about 100 feet away from a major street--exit off the interstate 87 North. I know people like to gawk at weddings, but I didn't want to be responsible for slow traffic off a highway exit. Another place had a little gazebo perched up on a hill that looked like a sheer drop into the Hudson River. Yet another place was trying to put 15 of our guests into a space that was the same size of my office cubicle. It's a large cubicle, but still.

One place we liked was about to start major construction that we couldn't be sure would have been finished by the time our date rolled around. They said May and we're saying August. But you know how contractors are. Still, that's where our friend Jelly, was working so we think maybe those contractors know what's good for them.

The prices mostly varied within 20 dollars of each other for the dates we looked at. But what you were getting for those prices made it necessary to sit down and do the math in order to have a good comparison. You could have 6 appetizers and three courses here for $55, vs. 5 appetizers three courses and a free cake over there for $75. Or you could have the whole shebang for $110 complete with ice sculptures, crudites (you know, veggies and dip), antipasto, and intermezzo (a small dish of something served in between courses such as sorbet before a heavy course of beef, fish, chicken--it cleanses the palate etc.) By the way, all our prices quotes were without alcohol. Don't think weddings in NYC are cheap.

All banquet and catering managers are not created equal. Some people were great on following up and paying attention to detail. Some were polished and very professional. One guy we were sure had just narrowly avoided a career as Jelly from Analyze This but we liked him. That was the thing. Some of these people, we just didn't like. Two guys in particular seemed to think their facility was too good for us. And in my mind I'm thinking, "hey, maybe you're right. How about I just take my cash somewhere it's appreciated". And other places where we just couldn't afford it, they were very polite, professional, understanding, never snooty, and even suggesting other places that we might want to look at. One guy, he should be teaching hospitality courses at the community college he was so good.

So we think we've finally settled on the place we were going to make our deposit at the other night. We took the contract home for closer inspection. We even showed it to uninvolved parties. But we weren't sure about dealing with a manager that seemed a little too snooty for our liking. At this point, I'm a little frustrated with looking but willing to look further. At the same time, I think this place is a good value, good location, and suits our style. So maybe I'll save up my patience and spread it out over the next 8 months rather than starting back at square one.

We had a date and now we have a new one!

2008-11-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

The more and more I think about the wedding the more I would rather just elope. I have said this idea on a few occasions and she has done the same as well. When either of us mention it we both tell the other that let's go for the wedding. We are equal opposites at the right times. What have I learned so far in this process? Venues are always cheaper on the weekdays than the weekends. Some of the them provide three entrees others will allow our guests to choose from two. The wedding will be more expensive than going to City Hall. The most important thing that I've learned is that this is the first true test of the relationship where we both must compromise. Have we got into arguments over some of these decisions? Sure we have. Does that worry me? Absolutely not. It means we are both strong headed people and in the end we always talk about what's the most logical thing to do. There's one thing that I look forward to besides finally marrying my beautiful lady, that has to be the wedding cake. Throughout the last few weeks I think I've grown a healthy obsession with wedding cakes. Maybe I just love cakes in general. Oh maybe I should mention that we do have a date and finally a choice of a venue. Now to get the photographer, videographer and florist. The fun never ends.

it could all be so simple

2008-11-07T06:53:00.000-08:00

This is a centerpiece I found on a website called save on crafts. They sell vases, and many many other craft supplies. I liked this centerpiece because it's so simple to put together. I think a little bear grass submerged inside the vase would really bring it off nicely. One could definitely get by with fewer flowers too.
I found a lot of great options at fiftyflowers.com and their prices are the best so far from online flower companies I've looked at.
This is one part of the wedding planning I'm looking forward to (aside from the whole getting married part).

Next up are two pics of bouquets I found on the Martha Stewart website. Tulips and callas vs. delphiniums. Those are all beautiful.

alternative to flowers

2008-11-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

Visiting a botanical garden this weekend I saw an interesting idea. But I forgot to take a picture.
The location where we will likely have our wedding and reception has a lovely wedding gazebo if you will. It is preceded by a constructed wooden arch. I don't want to decorate with the usual tulle but with ribbons--lots and lots of ribbon. Sort of maypole meets Eastern Temple. ~~None of those images are mine.~~ the first image is mine--I finally went by, took a photo and uploaded it.

up late

2008-10-28T23:41:00.000-07:00

I'm up late and now I'm hungry. I should have just tried to sleep even though I didn't want to.
I had some ideas for the reception that I wanted to get down before I forgot. Some are ideas I found elsewhere but still--

print large numbers on patterned paper in heavy/colored ink--cut and place in frames--place frame on table (give frames away)

paint wooden numbers in your wedding colors

cover small boxes with satin in wedding colors and then place flowers in jars and into boxes

also, what I wanted to capture but couldn't was a color combination that is hard to explain--blue flowers (maybe iris), with cream/pale yellow roses, and sage green greenery--with a few bits of purple--from lavender or something like that.

Reception Ideas

2008-10-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

Polaroid photos of our guests which they can sign
incorporate a cultural tradition such as a cake procession or traditional fabric for bridesmaids flower holders
Use family heirlooms in the decorations. Try to find antique pieces which your great grandmothers used at their wedding or rather on a day to day basis and incorporate it. Perhaps I don't have any family heirlooms but photos will work just fine in very classy frames
A groom's cake that reflects his hobby!!!

simple

2008-10-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Here are some ideas for centerpieces that I simply took from a commercial floral website. I think we can just put some flowers in a vase and tie a bow around it. Maybe we could go even simpler and sprinkle rose petals and place pillar candles--depends on the time of day.

bright

2008-10-10T07:57:00.001-07:00

I found these images of bouquets on the Martha Stewart website. They are inspiring, colorful, cheerful. Bright!

little by little

2008-10-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

So far we've been getting stuff done. The industry makes a lot of grand statements about booking things a year in advance, spending this much on a, that much on b. But we're coming along okay.

We've inquired about 2 locations we're looking at for our event and one of them is a botanical garden.

We've also saved $1,603.45 so far. The ticker I'm using is incorrect. I updated it incorrectly recently. I've also been steadily paying off my credit card debts. It's hard. I'm accustomed to shopping. A lot. I don't spend a lot each time I go but I'm accustomed to being in the mall all the time. So, now, I'm having a tough time. Last night I went to Rite Aid and splurged on toiletries and makeup. That was SO not needed. I could easily have put that money into my savings account!!! Bad bad bad.

RocketMan often seems a little stressed when I go on and on about venues, flowers, attire, money, catering and so on. I don't want to stress him out but we haven't been sitting down to discuss things at the designated times. But then we talk all the time. Why should I save up information or ideas to tell him, say, once a week when I'm talking to him right now? But I guess I can ask him when is a good time to talk about something.

First Date

2008-09-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

One year ago from today we had our first date. Earlier tonight we had our "anniversary". I thought that she looked absolutely beautiful and enjoyed the conversation over dinner. We were corny in that we dressed very similar to how we were dressed on the first date. We never went to the same restuarant though but made it to a great restaurant where the food was great and the dessert was to die for. I think this is one of the many things that I look forward to when I do marry this awesome lady; I look forward to our different anniversaries. I wonder if she remembers the day when we first kissed? Then again I better check if I remember.

my veil

2008-09-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

I think this veil is beautiful, simple, and modest without being too conventional. I like the idea of being unique and not looking just like every other bride who is walking down the aisle next summer. I want to express myself and be different.

I stumbled across the look while visiting some Australian websites but knew I had no plans to order from a milliner somewhere in the pacific. I began searching for places a little closer to home. It took me a while to figure out what this veil is called. Veilette, short short veil, mini veil, ultra mini veil, were all terms that I tried to use to search google. Guess what they're called: Birdcage veils. Sometimes also Visor veils.

I plan on getting one that's long enough to reach to my chin so someone will have something to lift up when the Pastor says, "You may kiss the bride".

a beautiful quotation

2008-09-12T13:38:00.001-07:00

Love is a force. . . . It is not a result;
it is a cause. It is not a product.
It is a power, like money, or steam
or electricity. It is valueless unless you
can give something else by means of it.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Interesting favors/centerpieces

2008-09-10T11:38:00.001-07:00

http://www.wanderfuls.com/indexMovie.shtml

combines centerpieces and favors
interesting
but no mention of the price.
hmmm...

Chest pains anyone?

2008-09-09T19:07:00.001-07:00

I pay attention to more things having to do with weddings and marriages these days not that I'm becoming a bigger sap than I already am but I am just making sure other people have done this before. Yes I'm a little apprehensive not just about the day but about the preparation for that day. To relieve some of that apprehension I know what I have to do...I have to get myself in gear right now. I have to start making some calls and getting answers to some questions. Now what do I do about the tightness in my chest due to the savings for that day? I'm sure that will pass.

Nice Decision

2008-09-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

The big big day...wow just thinking about it makes me a little nervous; makes my insides begin to wiggle. I am nervous about the lady but nervous about how everything will eventually unfold. This is a great idea though; we will get some laughs later on. Thanks for involving me.

I decided

2008-09-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

that I needed some place to organize my thoughts and have a record of the preparation involved in preparing. . .
it'll make for some laughs later on
;)