Final piece of the puzzle

We have finally got all the people needed to make the wedding..well a wedding and a reception. The DJ/MC are finally in place. We are very content with the two people we have chosen to fill those positions. They are a very nice couple and they seem to be very professional and understand the type of reception that we are looking for (they also gave us a nice deal). As we get closer and closer to the big big day I get more excited about the whole event. Can't wait for the cake!

plain and simple

As time wears on, I'm realizing our wedding reception is going to have to be plain and simple. There's a song that the Shakers used to sing: 'tis a gift to be simple 'tis the gift to be free. . .

While we were watching Cadillac Records there was a scene where Howlin' Wolf is meeting Muddy Waters for the first time. Howlin' Wolf is played by Eamonn Walker I believe his name is and the character is written as a self-determined black man--before Kwanzaa came about. When Muddy Waters makes a disparaging comment about Howlin' Wolf's beat up old truck compared to Muddy Waters' spankin' caddilac, Howlin wolf says, "I own that truck, it doesn't own me".

I guess we could say the same for decorations and other things.
I just realized that because we need vendors to be insured, we can't just have a friend come in and put on our chair covers. I found decently priced chair covers but apparently that's not going to work. I'm a smidge disappointed. I thought it would have looked decent. And then I could have sold the chair covers on EBAY. Yeesh. Oh well. Maybe I can go with the company that I saw over on Gun Hill Road. I'm thinking they probably have insurance. We shall see.

do we HAVE to have a wedding party?

I haven't posted in here in a while and that is partly because I've been busy. Partly because I've been overwhelmed.

We've been working on a few things namely dance lessons and premarital counseling.
Lately, the need to get my bridal party together has been stressing me. I have 1 sister who is able to participate. However, the maid of honor let me know she doubted she'd be able to do it due to health concerns.

I asked someone else to be my matron of honor but she flat out refused. She mentioned all the work she'd have to be doing. She's recently had surgery (2 months ago) and felt she wouldn't be up to it. Even though I explained to her that I simply needed her to march down the aisle during the rehearsal the night before, and on the day of the wedding, she insisted that there would be additional duties which she could not handle, such as attending, planning a party. This is the same person who pushed herself to go back to work and has been back at her job for perhaps 3 weeks now.

I'm not having a party. I don't want/need one. The most I would want is to have brunch with a few people. Those people are dwindling fast.

My other sister will not be able to make it to the wedding at all because she will be starting school in another state the previous week. So I need a replacement for her. I have a cousin who might like to do it. But her Mom does not get along with the family.

Now add to that, the other bridesmaid is a little skittish. I don't know if she's shy, withdrawn, or just doesn't like me all that much. Texts and emails go unanswered. Facebook, regular email, whatever. Maybe I need to just plain call her? I'm shy too. Maybe I'll call her today because apparently this evening is the only time she can make it to go to a bridal salon to try on bridesmaids dresses. When did I find this out? Yesterday. Sigh.

When my Mom got married, she had 2 bridesmaids. Her sister and her sister's best friend. The sister passed away in '96. The "best friend" (there's a story there) doesn't speak to any of us anymore but had custody of the sister's adopted daughter until she turned 18 I guess (for about 2 years). The groom is long gone, since '89. And the pictures are all that remain.

Do we really need a wedding party?

breathless

We are trying to get our invitations out, trying to get them addressed and mailed. Everything is "falling into place" but trying to get them to do that without letting them fall apart is challenging.

Yesterday we met the dance teacher at a local community center. She seems actually to be pretty good. Cheerful, enthusiastic, energetic. I liked her. We decided to go with her even though there was an okay offer from a lady in Manhattan. Yeah, this is a little more accessible.

My dress arrived last Friday. Now all I need are my foundation garments and my shoes in order go go try it on. I actually need 2 pairs of shoes. The outdoors is not good for heels. But I'll need heels for the reception I think--so that the dress won't drag? Maybe a wedge heel? That's a good compromise between flat and heeled.

I've spoken to 2 out of 3 potential day-of coordinators. I am looking to pay between 600 and 800. One lady will try to work with me. The other lady, I don't know her price. So I'll have to call her. Maybe even this evening.

I need to reserve rooms at a local-ish hotel. That would be good to do. There's a place right off the highway that might be good. But I don't think there are that many people who will want a place to stay. Wait, update, I just called. They only reserve in blocks of 10 at a minimum. You would have to think you have people needing at least ten rooms! In this economy I think there will only be need for 5 rooms probably.

Wow. There's enough to do.

Why have a wedding?

Weddings are expensive, stressful and definitely leads to arguments over who gets to have their idea become reality. Then why have one? I have struggled with this idea for a while now. Not until recently did I have some understanding of why it's important to have one. The other night after a huge argument about money I got some clarity on why the wedding is needed. We are having a wedding to profess our love for another to everyone that we care about. Another reason is to show those same people that we care about them and appreciate them being there for us and therefore we are going to treat them as best as possible. Another reason is to collect the presents that should be fun. I hope they don't get us a toaster...how about a wide screen tv? That made me smile. Well I am home after basketball and I'm sure missing my significant other.

color scheme and ideas

I have always seen these types of collages on other websites. But I didn't quite know how they were done. Then I stumbled across someone's blog and the collage stated it was made on bridal canvas dot com. I decided to try it and like it. It was pretty straightforward, allowed me to upload my own pictures, and had a decent variety of stock, real wedding photos I could use.
This is what I visualize.

:(

does wedding planning have to be this depressing? Why does the industry overwhelm us with their stuff, their requirements, all their assumptions?

When you look at DJ websites, they have a list of things you are supposed to do:

• couples first dance
• father daughter dance
• mother son dance
• garter belt toss
• bouquet toss (a big opportunity to try and irritate all unmarried women in the room under a certain age)
  

suppose someone's mother couldn't be there for whatever reason? Suppose someone doesn't get along with their father? Anyone whose situation is different is made to feel like a flat out weirdo. You had a wedding, except. . . [insert exception to the rule]. Suppose you want to carry a copy of your favorite poetry book with a single flower attached, instead of a bouquet--could you toss that?

As for bridesmaids--you must have them. How could you not? And you have to have between 6 and 10 of them and they must all dress the same. Or else you won't really be married.

I'm tired. Grumpy. I'm not really feeling this. I'm really feeling an elopement right now.