I love my wife

Yes we are not perfect but the good thing is that we both know that. My better half is sleeping on the couch as I type this right near her. She's absolutely beautiful and after 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days of marriage I am happy to report that I am 100% happy! Okay that was a quick post and I plan to post more very soon...I love my wife ; )

still picking thank you card photos

My goal had been to try to get out the Thank You cards in October. Big surprise, they're not done yet. Maybe they'll be done in time for Christmas. It's really hard because we didn't take what has come to be known as the classic posed thank you card photo.
Do you think people would be mad to receive something like this:

Faces

I've learned throughout life that making faces is never a good thing. I learned it again last night in Times Square. We had an amazing night and then she asked a simple request and I answered in the negative. Now only if I had left it at that but I couldn't and I made one of my faces to show that my answer meant more than "no". Let's just say that last night was very cold in the bed. She's a very forgiving person and I'm happy that that is in the past. I think as we grow with each other we will both try harder and I know it's hard to do it but it's worth it because there are a lot more important things in life to worry about. Next time we get the beverage and even if we don't she doesn' t get a face. Satan is strong but God is always stronger!
-I love my wife.

Marriage is AWESOME!!!

I like marriage (I guess you can tell from the title). Since I married my best friend it's been a good trip. First of all, I still can't believe I am married. Second of all, I can't believe we got married in less than two years. She's been awesome even when I've been less than awesome. I believe she's giving a great deal of effort. She's always been giving her all but now I'm paying more attention to it and attempting to match it because the best way to keep a marriage going well is to do your part and appreciate the other person for doing their share and then some. Waking up to see her each day is a blessing in itself.

Spending time with her in Orlando was very good. We were relaxing and enjoying one another's company and seeing the different sites of the wonderful city. We are in transition phase with our apartment right now that isn't easy to deal with but you know what we are both doing our best to keep a positive attitude.

I hope as the days, weeks, months and years pass by we continue to learn more about each other and from one another.

voila

we did it!!!
For all the planning, agonizing, dreaming, hoping, saving, it sure went by very quickly. I took lots of photos to try to remember what happened.
Our wedding was beautiful. Of course there were a few hitches but in time, no one will remember them.
Now we are on our honeymoon in Orlando. There's a pool and we are using it.
Other than that, nothing to report. See u when we get back.

Let's get this over with already...but let's have FUN also!

Approximately eight days until the wedding. I can't wait until it comes and see the few people on my side that really mean something to me come and truly celebrate our happiness together. It will also be nice to see certain people from my fiancee's side that have shown their support and also the ones who came a long way to show her their love. Besides all of that, the wait is unbearable right now as my practice to have better patience certainly has not worked in this case. I want to get there and say "I do" and hopefully hear the love of my life say it also. Afterwards, we can go on vacation for a few days and not have to worry about anything. The best advice I have heard over the last few weeks has to be "have fun and remember it's your day". I will do my best to have fun and remember that I do not plan on doing this ever again. That day will mark the beginning of an awesome journey and it won't always be a honeymoon but that's a challenge that I look forward to; as long as we both know that family comes first...we should be fine...we need to practice that first dance ; )

so close and yet so close!

I can't believe it. The big day is almost here. I'm trying not to stress. One good thing that has come of that is a pretty decent attendance record at the gym. I feel mostly happy and I think the gym contributes in a huge way.

I can't wait for our honeymoon. It's in Orlando. I hope we can do a few fun things. I have a trick or two up my sleeve. Well, maybe not but I CANT WAIT! I like that we're staying in the states because I feel more confident about going to new places and trying different things. And also, it's our honeymoon. I don't really want to do any sightseeing. Well not much anyway. Disney, and maybe a movie. I definitely want to sleep in.

Notice I'm not mentioning the wedding or reception? Well, let's just say I got some good advice about enjoying the day when it comes. I'm holding on to that. Definitely gonna try to do that.

yet another final piece

It seems like it takes a lot of final pieces to get two people married. Tonight we put in our application for our marriage license. We have 21 days to show up to the city clerk's office and complete the process. I hope we remember to bring a camera on that day.

Final piece of the puzzle

We have finally got all the people needed to make the wedding..well a wedding and a reception. The DJ/MC are finally in place. We are very content with the two people we have chosen to fill those positions. They are a very nice couple and they seem to be very professional and understand the type of reception that we are looking for (they also gave us a nice deal). As we get closer and closer to the big big day I get more excited about the whole event. Can't wait for the cake!

plain and simple

As time wears on, I'm realizing our wedding reception is going to have to be plain and simple. There's a song that the Shakers used to sing: 'tis a gift to be simple 'tis the gift to be free. . .

While we were watching Cadillac Records there was a scene where Howlin' Wolf is meeting Muddy Waters for the first time. Howlin' Wolf is played by Eamonn Walker I believe his name is and the character is written as a self-determined black man--before Kwanzaa came about. When Muddy Waters makes a disparaging comment about Howlin' Wolf's beat up old truck compared to Muddy Waters' spankin' caddilac, Howlin wolf says, "I own that truck, it doesn't own me".

I guess we could say the same for decorations and other things.
I just realized that because we need vendors to be insured, we can't just have a friend come in and put on our chair covers. I found decently priced chair covers but apparently that's not going to work. I'm a smidge disappointed. I thought it would have looked decent. And then I could have sold the chair covers on EBAY. Yeesh. Oh well. Maybe I can go with the company that I saw over on Gun Hill Road. I'm thinking they probably have insurance. We shall see.

do we HAVE to have a wedding party?

I haven't posted in here in a while and that is partly because I've been busy. Partly because I've been overwhelmed.

We've been working on a few things namely dance lessons and premarital counseling.
Lately, the need to get my bridal party together has been stressing me. I have 1 sister who is able to participate. However, the maid of honor let me know she doubted she'd be able to do it due to health concerns.

I asked someone else to be my matron of honor but she flat out refused. She mentioned all the work she'd have to be doing. She's recently had surgery (2 months ago) and felt she wouldn't be up to it. Even though I explained to her that I simply needed her to march down the aisle during the rehearsal the night before, and on the day of the wedding, she insisted that there would be additional duties which she could not handle, such as attending, planning a party. This is the same person who pushed herself to go back to work and has been back at her job for perhaps 3 weeks now.

I'm not having a party. I don't want/need one. The most I would want is to have brunch with a few people. Those people are dwindling fast.

My other sister will not be able to make it to the wedding at all because she will be starting school in another state the previous week. So I need a replacement for her. I have a cousin who might like to do it. But her Mom does not get along with the family.

Now add to that, the other bridesmaid is a little skittish. I don't know if she's shy, withdrawn, or just doesn't like me all that much. Texts and emails go unanswered. Facebook, regular email, whatever. Maybe I need to just plain call her? I'm shy too. Maybe I'll call her today because apparently this evening is the only time she can make it to go to a bridal salon to try on bridesmaids dresses. When did I find this out? Yesterday. Sigh.

When my Mom got married, she had 2 bridesmaids. Her sister and her sister's best friend. The sister passed away in '96. The "best friend" (there's a story there) doesn't speak to any of us anymore but had custody of the sister's adopted daughter until she turned 18 I guess (for about 2 years). The groom is long gone, since '89. And the pictures are all that remain.

Do we really need a wedding party?

breathless

We are trying to get our invitations out, trying to get them addressed and mailed. Everything is "falling into place" but trying to get them to do that without letting them fall apart is challenging.

Yesterday we met the dance teacher at a local community center. She seems actually to be pretty good. Cheerful, enthusiastic, energetic. I liked her. We decided to go with her even though there was an okay offer from a lady in Manhattan. Yeah, this is a little more accessible.

My dress arrived last Friday. Now all I need are my foundation garments and my shoes in order go go try it on. I actually need 2 pairs of shoes. The outdoors is not good for heels. But I'll need heels for the reception I think--so that the dress won't drag? Maybe a wedge heel? That's a good compromise between flat and heeled.

I've spoken to 2 out of 3 potential day-of coordinators. I am looking to pay between 600 and 800. One lady will try to work with me. The other lady, I don't know her price. So I'll have to call her. Maybe even this evening.

I need to reserve rooms at a local-ish hotel. That would be good to do. There's a place right off the highway that might be good. But I don't think there are that many people who will want a place to stay. Wait, update, I just called. They only reserve in blocks of 10 at a minimum. You would have to think you have people needing at least ten rooms! In this economy I think there will only be need for 5 rooms probably.

Wow. There's enough to do.

Why have a wedding?

Weddings are expensive, stressful and definitely leads to arguments over who gets to have their idea become reality. Then why have one? I have struggled with this idea for a while now. Not until recently did I have some understanding of why it's important to have one. The other night after a huge argument about money I got some clarity on why the wedding is needed. We are having a wedding to profess our love for another to everyone that we care about. Another reason is to show those same people that we care about them and appreciate them being there for us and therefore we are going to treat them as best as possible. Another reason is to collect the presents that should be fun. I hope they don't get us a toaster...how about a wide screen tv? That made me smile. Well I am home after basketball and I'm sure missing my significant other.

color scheme and ideas

I have always seen these types of collages on other websites. But I didn't quite know how they were done. Then I stumbled across someone's blog and the collage stated it was made on bridal canvas dot com. I decided to try it and like it. It was pretty straightforward, allowed me to upload my own pictures, and had a decent variety of stock, real wedding photos I could use.
This is what I visualize.

:(

does wedding planning have to be this depressing? Why does the industry overwhelm us with their stuff, their requirements, all their assumptions?

When you look at DJ websites, they have a list of things you are supposed to do:

• couples first dance
• father daughter dance
• mother son dance
• garter belt toss
• bouquet toss (a big opportunity to try and irritate all unmarried women in the room under a certain age)
  

suppose someone's mother couldn't be there for whatever reason? Suppose someone doesn't get along with their father? Anyone whose situation is different is made to feel like a flat out weirdo. You had a wedding, except. . . [insert exception to the rule]. Suppose you want to carry a copy of your favorite poetry book with a single flower attached, instead of a bouquet--could you toss that?

As for bridesmaids--you must have them. How could you not? And you have to have between 6 and 10 of them and they must all dress the same. Or else you won't really be married.

I'm tired. Grumpy. I'm not really feeling this. I'm really feeling an elopement right now.

Bad Influences

It is easy for people to begin thinking the wrong things about the people they care most about even if they aren't trying to do that. Well let me be clear. Some men can be pigs. Some men want to be in charge of their lady all of the time so that they can boost their own egos. They like to talk big around other men. I thought that I wasn't buying into all of that crap but it must have gotten into my system through osmosis because at times I know that I began to be a jerk to my fiancee with the I must be in charge bit. I did not even know that it was happening but slowly it began to happen and it occurred with more frequency over time. I have since stopped hanging around with that person and I am proud to say that my system is being purged of the "bacon" thoughts. Well I am learning to appreciate what God has given me and going back to my original thought that when two people are in a relationship those two people should treat one another as equals. I can't wait to get married. I can't wait to start dancing with her too : )

An idea

I thought we could do this for our tables--instead of numbers--each fruit of the spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.


Another option is to put up pics of ourselves over the years


Yet another option is just to use numbers--hey, if it ain't broke. . .

Scream

Remember the song by Michael Jackson? I don't remember if it was a duet with sister Janet but it went something like "I just can't take it no more, stop pressuring me, you make me want to scream"!

People need to chill with the pressure! Every now and again I'll run into someone who will want to know about invites. Did you send out invitations? How many people are you having? blah blah blah. Why are they stressing me like that? It's totally not necessary.

The rule of thumb is to send out the invitations six to eight weeks before you need a headcount. Eight weeks is 2 months. If we need a headcount August1, (which we don't), then that would be the invites should go out maybe the last day of May. It's still April. It's not even tax day yet. What is with people?!

The other interesting thing is that some people who are being asked to do a) b) or c) were asking asking asking for info. Now that I've sent it (both a warning email and a letter by the post office)--I can't figure out if they received it or not. Out of 4 people contacted, only 1 said, "hey, I got it". Another I just broke down and called because I just couldn't quite get over it.

And now on to another topic: rudeness.

Stop me if I've blogged this before.
I have shared a photo of my dress on my blog. It's no big deal to me. However, for lots of people, it's supposed to be a mystery until the day of. . .
I emailed a cousin of mine who I felt I could talk to--I shared with her some of my little jitters, and also included a pic of my dress--this was a while back. Rather than reply, she hit forward and sent it to both her sisters. Up to now she has not responded to my email but both her sisters contact me about it on facebook offering their advice and comments.

It was months ago, but I'm still mad. Yeeesh.

Always there

Let me start out by saying, yes I'm speaking in absolutes. I believe that God has blessed me with a very special lady to be my future wife. At the end of the last work week, I felt that I couldn't tell her everything or anything for that matter because I did not want to burden her with all what was happening at my work place. I felt bad about talking about my problem because of 1) I'm not the only person who is going through a period of uncertainty on the job and 2) she might not want to hear this especially heading towards the weekend. You know what she listened to me and gave me the right advice without being overly aggressive with her views and positions. I know now more than ever that we have something really special and this is truly the lady for me. Oh yeah we just made another payment for our venue. On the topic of the venue; we really chose the perfect place.

finally--information about the wedding

Hi Ladies,
please be on the lookout for an actual letter in the mail from me regarding the wedding. I promise I am mailing it off today!!! I know I've been stalling. Some people have been asking about colors for the longest. Sorry. It seemed scary so I put it off.

But I've got a lot of ideas and links and stuff. I know the colors and I know exactly what kind of look and feel we are going for. So I wrote everything up and sent you a color sample (not a swatch but a paint chip) of the general palette I'm working with.

So basically, within the color scheme, I am giving you free reign. I don't want you to buy a dress you will never wear again. So let me know once you receive the letter if it is helpful or if it is too much freedom. If you want me to lock you in to an exact style/color/manufacturer, I can do that. But I really would rather not.

Hope all is well with you. Please let me know if you have any questions at all or need any info or anything. Anything. My number is ###-###-####. My email is obvious.

Take Care,


PS I have made an attachment of sort of what I have in mind. And also a pic of what my dress looks like. I know those models are a little scary-looking. But it's what's out there.

accessorize

I saw this cute pin on the NY&CO website recently. I think it might be just right for my look.
Check it out.

1 year

One year ago today we got engaged. Tonight we wound up in a big fight. Are we doing the right thing? Are we really cut out for each other? How much fighting is too much fighting?
As we plan I have a lot of questions. When it's good it's great. But it's so easy for us to have misunderstandings, misgivings, or just flat out fights.

pics aplenty

We got our images via email from our photographer. They are great. I'm truly pleased with them. I know she took a LOT of pictures. In the end she provided approximately 80. She took a variety of poses and in a variety of locations. I think we are the first client she is serving all on her own but that doesn't bother me. She seems like a no nonsense lady.
Naturally, she's not perfect. No one is perfect. But she's business like and professional and I feel we can count on her to do a good job on our big day.

I saw these lovely baskets in the current Oprah Magazine (April 09). They are made from bamboo. Lovely colors, eh? Thinking about the natural colored ones for my centerpieces. Hmm...

We did it!

Yay!
Our engagement photo shoot was yesterday. Our photographer, Tara Sharma, brought along an assistant and we shot our pictures at a local garden, outdoors. She has a great eye. But also, RocketMan and I just look so cute and were well rested --hence our pictures couldn't help but come out really nicely.

Proofs will be on their way soon!
I'm psyched about the wedding now. Not so scared like before. We still haven't seen the albums but I'm looking forward to getting a preview of what we may be able to order.

She did a great job posing us and helping us get comfortable in front of the camera. We just listened to her directions and tried to act natural. There were moments where I genuinely forgot the camera was there. Especially when we were kissing. Hee heee...

In the meantime, the interest rate on our joint savings account is dropping off a cliff!!! It's down to 1.65 from nearly 3.00 when we started saving last year. That's not cool! We could be earning nearly twice the interest. :(

dodged that bullet

Well, because of inclement weather, the photo shoot was postponed.
Meanwhile, I've been procrastinating on Save the date cards. Will get them out, soon. I promise.

Other than that, I see that we were wise to start saving for this whole wedding shindig. The guest list keeps getting longer. Oy. vey. But we are well on target with savings IMHO. Our wedding will be pricey but nowhere near the industry expectation.

Meanwhile I just have a few small concerns. Will the officiant we chose really be able to attend? The day of our wedding just happens to be communion at his church. He is the senior pastor and somehow I think the service at his church will miss something if he is not there. I hate to put him in the position of having to back out on us or make communion less than it ought to be. So I'm mildly concerned.

I'm also concerned about bridesmaids. I want to help them as much as possible to find dresses that suit them and are affordable. However, I feel the colors I've chosen aren't that popular--even though they are not wild (two shades of blue with purple accents). What to do? Well, stop procrastinating for one.

Final concern--a place to live. We don't have that much time. To plan the wedding it is enough time. But to find an apartment, we might need to start looking next month. I think that would be reasonable. Here's the other challenge. Where exactly do we want to live anyway?

uh oh

On Sunday we are planning to meet our photographer to do our engagement photos. Not sure if we really need engagement photos considering we won't be using them for save the dates or the guest book. But it might be good for us to do it for the website.

It just dawned on me I have to try to look good. Hence I better make an appointment at the salon. I'll get my nails and hair done and my eyebrows shaped. I could leave it up to me but I'm not so sure that's a good idea. There's a place around here that does facials and things. Maybe I should hit up that joint. As for my outfit--oy vey. Nothing fits because I've gained about 20 pounds over the last year (mainly the last six months). So I have to check my closet. Maybe I'll wear the new pantsuit I got in a wicked sale at loehmanns.

Flower Arranging Ideas

Flower Arranging Ideas

I found this really cool website by just searching around for floral arranging ideas.
Flowers are not that expensive to buy and a lot of websites have free shipping.
Buying floral foam shouldn't be too bad either. No, you can't reuse it but I can definitely afford to spend a little money buying some to keep my skills up.

Expectations

Seven more months and I expect to be married to the beautiful lady who shares the blog with me.
Six more months and I expect to feel even more nervous about the big big day.
Five more months and we should be done paying the majority of the vendors.
Four more months we should feel pretty good about the wedding.
Three more months we will breathe a sigh of relief that we have everything in place for the wedding.
Two more months we will do our check list.
One more month we will go on a couple of romantic dates and think how great it will be to be married.
This month we will look to alleviate ourselves of most of the stress.

solutions

I've been dragging my feet getting ready for this wedding. I guess I've been worrying more than I've been doing anything. So finally a coworker of mine announced that she was engaged and started showing me her dress choices and already has a maid of honor! That led to an instant "uh oh" moment for me.

So yesterday evening I called my good friend Willowtree and asked her to be my maid of honor. She doesn't have to stand up in the wedding if she doesn't feel it's right for her health at the time (she has a few health concerns). And she doesn't have to throw me a big party. But I'm grateful she's agreed!!!

In addition, I've found a website where I can order a kit to make lip balm for my guests!!! It's pretty cheap if I make it myself and it seems easy.
Here's the link!
I'll simply place a few of each on each table in a little container. They can take it as they go.

Another option is lotion. There's a company out there that sells containers. I can easily buy containers elsewhere, create labels. Etc. However, I think I'd rather buy the kit. In case I want to go complicated, here's the website of the container company.

On another note, I've narrowed down my choices for bridesmaid colors. I'm going with either aqua and purple or pink and purple. I really like purple.

Also, we've worked on our wedding website in the past. Here's what we have so far:
link